Missing Therapy

My therapist is on vacation this week. This is the first time since I started seeing her almost 3 years ago, that I will not see her on my birthday. It has been the way that I am able to get myself out of the house on my birthday, as well as reflect over things with her. It was for only an hour, but at least it was an hour outside of the house. So, this year is going to be different. I’m worried. As I stated in my previous post – Living in the Moment – I know that I’ll have a good birthday. However, as my birthday gets closer, I’m thinking a great deal about how it will be more “on my own” sort of speak. That is what is worrying me more than anything.

As we now reach the middle of the week, I realize just how much longer I have to go before I see her again next week. It’s only a week without seeing her, but it feels like an eternity to me. I had a good day, today… a really nice one, actually. But now, as the night drags on (almost 1am here), I’m sitting here thinking about my therapist and how much I miss her. Maybe I just need sleep, I don’t know. But, I know I’m missing her more now than I was earlier in the week. And then, right now I remembered a song that I had told one of my nieces to listen to earlier. I sent her a text right before she went to sleep, and told her to let me know what she thinks about it when she checks it out. It’s a great song by one of my favorite artists, Owl City.

Maybe it’s due to my missing my therapist so much right now, but as I listened to the song again before writing this post, I realized that it is almost a perfect reflection of my therapist. Every week I go to her, and she shoots rainbows through my veins.

Yeah, maybe I do just need sleep…

 

 

11 thoughts on “Missing Therapy

  1. I’ve *so* been where you are, Summer, counting down the days until my next therapy appoinment, desperate to spill all my conflicted thoughts and emotions to someone who can help me gain some insight and perspective about them. It’s like releasing some sort of pressure valve inside of me. Sweet relief. It’s always struck me as profoundly unfair that our therapists get to take vacations from us when we don’t get vacations from our symptoms. Of course, I understand from a practical and professional level — people with jobs need vacations. But it’s still anxiety producing for us. I wish I had some profound advice to give you besides sit tight and try not to think about it too much. I know how hard that can be. But you’ve always got us here in the blogosphere, and we’re happy to hear what’s on your mind and try to bring a smile to your face, as you often bring to ours. May time fly swiftly till your next appointment! ::big hugs::

    • Thanks so much, Eileen! And big hugs back at you! 🙂 You said it so well when you describe therapy like the release of a pressure valve inside. It feels so great, both mentally and physically. I can’t wait until next week. It’s funny how you say you’ve often felt it is unfair that they get to take vacations. That’s something that I always try to ignore inside of myself, but I feel the same way. I feel somewhat angry when I find out she’s going on vacation. I don’t like that I feel that way, as you said they do need vacations. But, those feelings still hit me. Now, though, I’m not angry, I’m just sad. I’ll try my best to not think about it much. My therapist has said often to write when she’s away, as if I’m talking to her, but put it in writing. And, then when she comes back we can go over what I wrote as I read it to her. So, I will do that, but oh how I wish it was already next week and I was reading it back to her.

      Thanks again, Eileen! I appreciate your words of support and comfort. 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Rachel! 🙂 I so appreciate your nomination and support. It’s strange how attached we get to our therapists sometimes. Before therapy I couldn’t imagine telling someone my problems like that, and now I can’t imagine not talking with her. Strange how things work out sometimes.

      • No problem Summer. Hope it cheered you up a bit!

        I got very attached to a counsellor I used to see. She was a calming, motherly voice when I was an emotional wreck! It was also wonderful to feel I had someone supporting me 100%. It is a funny relationship though, just because it’s their job. I think it can be quite challenging in itself.

        • So true! I can only imagine how draining it must be for them at times, as they take in so many problems of others. The way you describe your former counselor is the way I feel about mine too. And it is just as you say, that it’s a feeling of 100% support. Some people were just born to be therapists I think. Their hearts, minds and compassion make them gifted in that area.

  2. wow, you must have a really awesome therapist. maybe try to focus on that instead of her absense. i go to therapy (randomly make appointments) but when i leave i feel like i’ve accomplished nothing. so you’re lucky you’ve found “the one”!

    • Thank you, Ershley! Yeah, she’s a really awesome person and I feel blessed to have her for my therapist. You make a good point though, and I should focus more on that than not being able to see her for a while. Thank you for your comment! 🙂

    • Fireflies!!! 😀 Such an awesome song! Thanks for the link ’cause that song and its music video never gets old for me. I love watching it ’cause it’s so magical in its own special way. As for getting through the week, yeah, I’m doing OK thanks. 🙂 All of you guys have been so great and supportive and that has helped to keep me feeling less stressed about not seeing her. I can’t wait for next week though!

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